Dear ,

I really don't know how to tell you this, but I dislike you. I think I realized it last year as you ate enchilada and I saw you ignore Bill Clinton. I'm sure you're ashamed enough to understand that I get turned on by garbage men. I'm returning the cut toenails to you but I'll keep the oil stocks as a memory. You should also know that I was interviewed by the Times about our friendship.

Good luck on your short-term leave from jail,